Today we are going to say goodbye to this amazing lady. The sky is currently gray, and rain is slowly dripping off the eaves, and off the eaves of her house next door, too, which gives me a feeling. I feel so grateful to her for the part she did in raising Shaun, and for all the times she simply called me “granddaughter.” I feel lucky that I got to eat her chocolate pie, that I sleep most nights under one of her quilts, and that the last time I saw her she squeezed me so tight, still so strong, and told me she loved me. Goodbye Grandma, I love you too.

 

Advertisements

Projects throughout the years: A Picture a Day 2009

2009 started out rough. What I remember most about the beginning of the year was how Shaun took care of me. My dad had just died and I felt very helpless and brokenhearted. Shaun spent a lot of the school break packing me and my cameras into the car and driving me to pretty places to distract me with photography, like he had perfectly intuited what I needed at that moment. The whole world felt different. I felt so broken, but also braver. My dad dying was (and still is) the worst thing that had ever happened in my life and I had faced it and my anxiety wasn’t so scary anymore. I spent some time wallowing in the groove on the couch created by my grief-stricken Lord of The Rings marathons, yes, but I came out stronger than ever. I also think my photography became more important, it had more purpose, I wanted to capture every single thing about my life, and preserve it forever.

January 1, 2009
January 1, 2009
January 7, 2009
January 7, 2009
January 14, 2009
January 14, 2009
January 16, 2009
January 16, 2009
January 22, 2009
January 22, 2009
January 30, 2009
January 30, 2009
163. they tumble blindly
February 3, 2009
February 16, 2009
February 16, 2009
February 21, 2009
February 21, 2009
March 18, 2009
March 18, 2009
April 3, 2009
April 3, 2009
April 4, 2009
April 4, 2009
April 16, 2009
April 16, 2009
April 27, 2009
April 27, 2009
April 28, 2009
April 28, 2009
June 10, 2009
June 10, 2009
June 12, 2009
June 12, 2009
June 16, 2009
June 16, 2009
July 4, 2009
July 4, 2009
August 1, 2009
August 1, 2009
August 28, 2009
August 28, 2009
September 5, 2009
September 5, 2009
September 23, 2009
September 23, 2009
October 9, 2009
October 9, 2009
October 13, 2009
October 13, 2009
October 30, 2009
October 30, 2009
November 13, 2009
November 13, 2009
November 18, 2009
November 18, 2009
November 22, 2009
November 22, 2009
December 11, 2009
December 11, 2009
December 14, 2009
December 14, 2009
December 18, 2009
December 18, 2009
December 31, 2009
December 31, 2009

Projects throughout the years, A Picture a Day, 2008

2008 is a hard year to write about. We started the year at Disney World, and that was wonderful. I had just quit my job to focus on our home and my photography full time. Ā In October my dad entered the hospital, he never left. On December 14, 2008, he died. Ā Even before that, it had felt like a hard year, my anxiety was very bad.

Through all of this, I kept up a daily photo project, and in August,Ā on my 23rd birthday,Ā I started a 365 self portrait project as well (I’ll do a post about that in a bit.) I did them concurrently and didn’t miss a day of either project (though on hard days I did overlap and use one photo for both sets.) There was something therapeutic about creating something during this time, or anyway, it was a good distraction.

It’s hard for me to revisit some of these, but here are the highlights and milestones of 2008:

January 1, 2008 – Disney World!
...
February 24, 2008
1157
March 21, 2008
I have never been so keyed up
April 4, 2008
the dad
April 19, 2008 – Herbal Affair with my parents, Smena 8M 35mm
Untitled
May 1, 2008
Untitled
May 6, 2008
Untitled
May 17, 2008 – Tulsa during Mayfest
Untitled
July 4, 2008
Untitled
August 5, 2008 – OKCMOA with Shaun’s parentsĀ 
Untitled
August 21, 2008
Untitled
September 22, 2008Ā 
Untitled
October 18, 2008
Untitled
October 25, 2008 – hospital wall, the day after my dad was admitted.
Untitled
November 4, 2008 – hospital laundry room.
9:17 pm
December 2, 2008
112. a picture of you
December 14, 2008 – an hour before my dad died.
Untitled
December 27, 2008 – after my dad died I wasn’t really afraid of anything anymore. we walked around town with fake mustaches on. People passing us seemed really happy about it, that was a good feeling.
Untitled
December 31, 2008 – nothing special, just the end of the set.

Les Beehive Photo Challenge: Days 4-6

The challenge.
December 4: Macro
December 4: Macro Waiting for Shaun to get home so I can go to the hospital. My grandma was dying.

December 5: Shadow
December 5: Shadow My grandma passed the night before. It was peaceful. My aunt was with her, I am glad for that.

December 6: Star
December 6: Star It started snowing last night, it snowed all morning. Snowflake snow. Magic, healing, therapeutic snowflake snow.

Well, it’s been a while. After slogging through NaNoWriMo I took a bit of a holiday break from the blog…

the dad
Some of you already know, and some may have caught on from following links to my flickr, that my dad was in the hospital from October 24 through December 14th, when he passed away. It’s been really difficult to write here knowing that I would feel the need to start with this… and so I haven’t. Day by day I have gone in to more detail on flickr, little things, mostly, as well as sharing a myriad of childhood photos, if you’re interested, the link to my flickr is in the sidebar. Christmas has been, understandably, more overwhelming than usual, though I have always been lucky enough to actually like my family, receive thoughtful and extremely appropriate gifts and enjoy a relatively stress-free holiday. I don’t expect it will ever be exactly the same, but we did fairly well given the circumstances, remembering good things and enjoying each others company.

I’m not going to linger now, I just wanted to give those who don’t follow me elsewhere an update and explain my absense. I hope you’ve all had a good holiday & have a happy 2009.

xoxo