I didn’t start writing until the afternoon and then my computer started acting weird. The monitor has been doing glitchy things for a while. I think the connection might have been a little dusty, I reconnected things and: so far so good! That and my late start and few other chores meant that I didn’t get much done on my novel. I wrote for about 20 minutes and got 670 words for the day. Oh well!
The last sentence I wrote:
“My brother Cloyd worked here in the stables and got me on not long after Xavier’s parents were married.”
9290 / 50000 words. 19% done!
More from my NaNoWriMo at the $1 level on my Patreon.
I didn’t write on the fifth. I dismantled Halloween outside and took care of a few more household chores. We watched lots of TV and went for a lovely autumnal walk and it was a pretty relaxing day.
I wanted to write straight away on Monday, but I had lots of little photo chores to do. If I didn’t want to spend the time making my triplicate backups of video, I needed to do some quick editing and uploads.* But you know, quick video editing is a time suck. Then I had photos to edit and Patreon posts to make and it took a couple of hours so I didn’t get started writing until almost 10am.
I did some sprints on twitter with @nanowordsprints and got 2929 words written. Before noon! I actually thought I might write more but I moved on to bullet journal upkeep and logged the words in pen so *shrug*.
Here’s the last sentence I wrote, it’s a rough one:
He looked over at Philomena with a sparkle of boyish laughter in his brown eyes.
8620 / 50000 words. 17% done!
*Most of my videos are Patreon only. They’re just little slice of life bits of video I shoot for myself. You can see them. and more of my NaNoWriMo, at the $1 level on my Patreon.
I spent a lot of the day moving between browser tabs and doing things that one could say had something to do with my novel. I got my list of names-to-grab-when-my-mind-blanks put together. I read forum posts. I procrastinated spectacularly.
It was double-up donation day on the NaNoWriMo site. I donated. I also thought: You know what? I have never had such a low word count on double-up day, I could actually double my word count today! I continued to procrastinate.
Every time I went into the kitchen, I screamed a little because it’s such a mess. But I didn’t do anything about that, either.
Eventually I got my stuff together, and, back in the recliner with my laptop, I participated in 5 sprints on twitter (three 15, a 10 and a 20 minute) and did it. Like, I more than doubled my total word count. Stuff in my story actually started to get kind of fun. I creeped myself out a little with something I wrote. I may, in fact, have given myself some nightmares. I got 2,955 words for the day. I’m still behind, but it was major progress and a huge relief to enjoy myself while writing. I had such a weird, rough start. I know it will get tough again during week two, but I’m used to it. It’s all gonna work out.
The last sentence I wrote:
Understandably, Philomena screamed.
5691 / 50000 words. 11% done!
More for $1 patrons on my Patreon.
I actually felt pretty good yesterday for most of the morning. I spent it doing internet chores. By the time I sat down to write again I was feeling terrible and super down on my writing again.
Oh well. The leaves are changing and beautiful. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon.
I wrote 834 words and that’s… something.
The last sentence I wrote:
The drive was dotted with lamps, but they were just little pools of light showing the perimeters of the cobbled path.
2736 / 50000 words. 5% done!
More for $1 patrons on Patreon.
Another day of just SUPER BRAIN FOG. I did get my Bullet Journal set up for November, though!
I got out my bullet journal from last year and used it to help me set up my NaNoWriMo tracker for this year. I felt a bit sad because I was more creative in my bullet journal a year ago, always trying new things, but now I feel like I’m just doing the same things over and over again. I think, as with all things, I have creative highs and lows, and I will feel inspired again. Of course one reason I have been repetitive is that my current layouts work really well for me. Still I hope to challenge myself in December to try some new things. I have enough on my plate in November though, even for the sake of NaNoWriMo procrastination, I’m too busy overhaul my bullet journal!
I haven’t done any sprints yet. I’ve just been writing when I feel up to it and I didn’t get much in yesterday. I wrote a total of 755 words.
The last sentence I wrote:
“I’m Sherman Picklecorn,” the red-haired man admitted. “Jacob mentioned my mother, she’s the housekeeper up at the manor.”
1902 / 50000 words. 4% done!
More for $1 patrons on my Patreon.
Ahh, so tired the day after Halloween, always so tired. But this was extra, I had bad cramps all day and zero motivation to either take down Halloween or work on my NaNoWriMo. I hadn’t done any of my usual October prep. I hadn’t assembled a list of people and place names, I hadn’t thought about it… at all, really. I still haven’t re-read No Plot? No Problem! or made a cute graph in my bullet journal.
I’ve been depressed, since last November really, it comes and goes in waves and I’m functioning and happy fairly often now, but it’s holding me down a bit. November and December are months filled with happy things I love and memories that hurt a lot. Every single thing is about finding a balance. I’m trying super hard.
In the evening, when Shaun was home and working on studying for his test the next morning, I managed to write for a bit and got 1,147 words, which is a start.
Here’s the last sentence I wrote:
Maybe there would be a friendly young face, not a beau, but a village girl to gossip with, someone her own age so that she wouldn’t be as lonely as her friends insisted she would be.
If you’re interested in daily excerpts, favorite lines and stuff, I’ll be posting them with my daily 365 photos on my Patreon at the $1 level. <3
1147 / 50000 words. 2% done!
This Halloween costume, Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote, is literally one of the best things I have ever done in my entire life:
I started a semi-private 365 set on Patreon on January 1st at the $1 per month level. I’ve done a couple of completely private 365 self portrait/journal entry sets, just for myself/Shaun and I was toying with doing another this year but I had also been trying to come up with something fun to do with Patreon so I combined the two. I’m doing a theme every week, kind of remixing and adding to the list I wrote in 2014, because that set made me feel really happy. In addition to the 365 self portrait set I’m sharing lots of outtakes and other stuff I’ve never posted anywhere before, so even if I have a low week of 365 selfies and one sentence journal entries (and experience tells me, I will) there will be plenty of new content to look through.
I’m also hoping to edit one of my NaNoWriMo novels this year, updates, excerpts and other stuff about that will be on Patreon first, for sure.
In other news, I’ve been working on my 2016 in review photo post for a couple of weeks. It feels a little overwhelming and sad towards the end of the year and revisiting all of those feelings so soon after the fact has been a struggle for me. The past few weeks have been a Christmas vacation for me, but I hope to get back to regular blogging here next week. Thanks for a really good year on WordPress, friends. See you in a bit!
I’ve really just been doing the bare minimum to keep on top of all of my projects this month. I’ve been vacillating between anxiety and depression. I haven’t been depressed in a while. There was a weird moment of relief, when it first hit me, because anxiety for me is caring a lot and depression is not caring at all. I’ve decided I like anxiety more, though. I can be anxious and happy, I have a lot to show for it when I’m anxious, I’ve been doing it for so many years, I’m very good at it. My depression is mean, too, it’s a voice in my head that says really nasty things to me about how nothing I do or have ever done has mattered. Anxiety tells me it all matters too much, that I can’t give up, that I just have to try harder every day. This is how I have learned to live with it. Up until this past couple of months, I was actually doing really, really well with it, the motivation to DO was there and the bad anxiety stuff was very mild, easy to dismiss, unimportant.
I had a bunch of really bad, 0 words days this month, but because I was depressed, I didn’t really care. A few days ago I was sobbing while cooking dinner, facilitated by PMS, and I think it was one of those mythical good cries. I’ve had maybe three of those my whole entire life. I said all of these things aloud to Shaun, and per usual, he made me feel better, because he’s very good at looking at the logical sides of things, and he knows me so very well. I feel like I turned a corner and things are going to get better. The next day I wrote 2,836 words on my NaNoWriMo. The day after that (yesterday) I wrote 7,108 words, passed 50k, kind of brought the bit of story I was writing to some sort of resolution and won NaNoWriMo for the 11th time.
I’m trying to take today off, but I keep mentally going over all of the things I neglected to do this past month, so good to know I’m firmly back to my anxiety, I guess. Maybe I’ll write them in my bullet journal. That usually helps.
Here are some pictures I took this month:
It’s hard to write, right now. Hard to write this blog post and hard to work on my novel. I don’t feel like talking about my feelings. But I might end up doing it anyway.
Tuesday. Woke up bright and early and full of civic fervor. We waited in the misty rain for a half hour or so to vote, right after the polls opened. Everyone was friendly. I was beyond optimistic. I wrote 3,137 words and got back ahead with my word count (ended the day with 14,004). I cooked dinner. We sat on the couch and distracted ourselves from returns with a couple of episodes of Luke Cage and then it started to look bad and Shaun, being mathy, did the math and we went to bed and I cried. (Whoops, there’s my feelings.)
Eight years ago my dad was in the hospital. Being grotesquely optimistic I didn’t believe he was dying even when they told me to say goodbye. I remember my mom telling me that she told him that Obama had won and he seemed to understand and be pleased. He died a little over a month after the election.
Wednesday I waffled between keeping informed about all of the important things the election results mean and taking care of myself because breaking down completely doesn’t help anyone. I feel dramatic, but then also terrified that I’m not being dramatic enough. I dragged Christmas out of storage. Patiently, methodically, put up the tree, strung the lights and tinsel, laid out all of the ornaments so that Shaun and I could finish trimming the tree together when he got home. I watched disc 80 of Dark Shadows in it’s entirety. I put in disc 81 and watched half of that. I took a 3 hour bubble bath. I thought I might not write at all. I didn’t put pressure on myself. In the evening I did, though, I got 1,102 words written, enough to keep on top of my daily goal. We ordered pizza. We drove to pick it up. We got fries with it because potatoes are soothing. We forgot to go to the liquor store and restock the wine. We went after dinner. The clerk commiserated with us and I felt less alone in our precinct that voted 58.8% for, you know, the candidate that won. Also I had wine, so that was good. We trimmed the tree. We watched more Luke Cage. We drank that wine.
Thursday I didn’t write at all.
15106 / 50000 words. 30% done!
I’m going to do my best. My brain isn’t the best brain, but it’s the best brain I’ve got and I’m not gonna give up on us.
Here are some resources I have been looking at to try to find my next step:
Love you guys. <3