I am SO firmly stuck in the painful week 2s right now. And I’m behind on other things that I keep putting off until after I finish my writing for the day. And then I don’t finish my writing for the day so I don’t finish anything. I have been keeping on top of dishes and cooking dinner every day, though. The dryer is full of clean laundry to sort, I owe emails to two friends, I only wrote about 600 words yesterday, no one is running sprints on the @NaNoWordSprints and I am floundering and lonely. It’s a pain that writing super early is best for me. I think maybe I should try a different schedule today. So maybe I will do some to do list items and then come back to it, but when I think about doing this I get a sick feeling in my gut.
The most annoying thing is that I know, I KNOW, if I just started writing that every tight feeling in my chest and stomach would ease up. It happened yesterday when I managed that 600 words, but it didn’t last the full half hour session. I need to get comfortable with skipping scenes, perhaps, for letting the story just jump over these day to day trivialities. I hate how I feel like I have to chronicle every second of my characters days… but… I feel like I don’t know how to transition from scene to scene. I know that it’s okay. Because this is NaNoWriMo. I can write these boring moments and then cut them out, later. It’s fine. One interesting thing about this feeling is that when I read back on my NaNoWriMos, all of which I have felt this way about, I actually feel like I did a fine job skipping the mundane things and my transitions seem pretty logical. They often read enough like real books that it startles me. I find they need way less editing than I had imagined they would when I was writing them.
I guess I forgot how much hashing out my feelings on this blog is key, as well. I just feel like this month is busier than ever. In years past I have made an update here almost every day that I wrote. That’s incredible to me. Where did I find the time?
Today, my procrastination has been spent watching music videos on youtube and dancing around the living room. At least it was somewhat aerobic.
I feel less fatalistic about my novel at this moment than I did a half hour ago, or yesterday, or the day before that. I’ll get through this. I always do.
So I’m going to go an write myself a schedule for today that puts my writing in the afternoon instead of the morning and see how I do with it.
17265 / 50000 words. 35% done!